I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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