First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
