if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
