I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
