she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
