Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
