Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
