Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
