David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize