At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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