Please, let me fuck your mom
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
