Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
