I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
