just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
