OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
