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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I hope im prettier

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I see a marketing opportunity

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• (627): View more from California

  his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly

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• (516): View more from New York

  I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  But you'll make an exception

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  probably not

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• (716): View more from New York

  I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Did i fall last night when u carried me home.

  (712): View more from Iowa

  idk

  (712): View more from Iowa

  OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  i think we sleep fucked last night...

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