I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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