I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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