Tell her she can't have a vagina
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
