shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
