I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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