I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
