my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
