it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Even my vagina gasped.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
