a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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