So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
