We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
God, I missed his penis.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
