Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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