update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
