i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
