Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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