I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
