went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
