my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
