and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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