I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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