So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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