so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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