Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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