1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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