About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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