I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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