I'm going to jail i love you
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
