Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
