Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
