I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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