Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
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