Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
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