There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
