Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
