the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
