i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
