The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
