We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
ttyl tear gas
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
