she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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