With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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