dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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