i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
