I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
