At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My cat gives me a boner
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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