Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
