GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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