Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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