I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
